Does falling in love cost you friends?
If it’s true… don’t you think is sad?
I wasn’t planning to blog today: it’s Friday and I’m busy trying to wrap up my week and enjoy the weekend.
However, I ran into this article from the Toronto Star: Falling in love costs you friends and now I’m so curious to hear what you think about it!
“A new U.K. study contends that people in committed relationships tend to have two fewer friends and/or family members in their inner circle of relationships. For most of us, this key support group contains four to six people, those we turn to on a regular basis and the people we would most count on in a crisis”
“Those in a relationship tended to average out around four, including their partner. Single people averaged five– an extra family member, plus an extra friend (minus a partner).”
The whole story seams to come down to the fact that single people simply have more time. But is it really like truth?
I personally think a relationship should be something that only adds things to your life, and if instead deprives you, maybe it’s just a wrong relationship, or those friends that you don’t see so much anymore are not so important to you.
But I have to recognize this is not the perfect world, and this is much easier to say than to do. Every day life can be terribly busy and make you lose the right point of view. Procrastinate those dinners and coffees can be sometimes just a way to survive on your extra-busy-I-don’t-even-have time-to-grub-my-lunch schedule!
“Dunbar has also noted that friends occupy three concentric circles in our lives.
• At the core are those four to six people we see at least once a week. Burton notes that there is no perfect number for this circle.“The optimal number depends on what you want out of those relationships,” Burton says. “I believe that people are quite good at optimizing that number.”So, some may concentrate their friendship resources on two very close friends. Others may choose to hold 10 people tightly, though they must more carefully portion out their attention.
• One level outside the core includes acquaintances who we might see at least once a month.
• At the outer level are those who we see infrequently but for whom we’d feel a sense of loss were they to die – the so-called “sympathy group.”
Even if I would love to have a even bigger group of friends now that I am in a relationship (his friends – or part of them, sorry – and mine) it’s not easy. Sad but true!
What do you think?