What she really means: translation for men

Top words women use and their real meaning

Maybe you have heard about some of these already, but this list has been completed and every meaning has been checked from women…. well, woman… me….on behalf of others…

  1. Good: this is the word women use to end a conversation where they are right and you need to shut up;
  2. Nothing: it’s the calm before the storm. She has something to say, and you’d better watch out. Usually, discussions that starts with “Nothing” end with “Good”;
  3. As you like: it’s a woman way to tell you “F**k off”;
  4. I don’t want to talk about it: she needs time to think how to make you pay for everything you are putting her through;
  5. Five minutes: it means half hour if a woman is getting ready. But if she gave you 5 minute to finish doing whatever you are doing before  helping her to do whatever she is doing, she has probably already started the countdown;
  6. Whatever: see #3
  7. Don’t worry, I’ll do it: Be careful. It means that  she asked you to do something more than once, but now she is doing it. A little late for the man to ask: “What’s wrong?”. For the answer go back to #2.
  8. I did it for you: she is lying, she would never do something only for you;
  9. I have to get up early tomorrow: it means “Forget about it. Turn the other way and just sleep”.
  10. Go ahead: it’s a challenge and not a permission. Just back off.
  11. Heavy breath: this is in this list because it means more than words. It’s a non-verbal statement that men do not understand. When she is breathing heavy usually she’s also thinking you are stupid, and she’s wondering why she is wasting her time arguing with you about nothing (go back to #2 for the meaning of “nothing”);
  12. Have fun at the party: man, watch your back! She is telling you “I do not want you to have fun at the party. I will be calling you and texting you every 5 minutes, and if you do not answer I will show up at the party in no time and kill whoever (because she already knows it will be a woman) is talking with you”. Then she will take care of you;
  13. I’m not yelling: she knows she is yelling and she doesn’t care since she’s right!
  14. I said please: she probably knows she is asking for something she doesn’t deserve, but she is testing your love;
  15. Of course: don’t even believe she’s agreeing with you, she’s just planning something;
  16. Ok: this is one of the most dangerous words a woman can ever say to a man. It means she is taking the time to decide about her revenge;
  17. You don’t need to buy me a present: “just take care of the recycling and reorganize the garage”. You should take advantage of this, she could start asking for diamonds!
  18. Thank you: if a woman thanks you do not ask any questions, she is just thanking you. There is only a very small condition: if she says “Thank you very much” that is just sarcasm. Do not say “You’re welcome” because she will reply “as you like” (see #3);
  19. We need: she is trying to tell you she wants something but she is being nice and you should appreciate it.
  20. We need to talk: she has something to complain about (there is probably why she talks a lot);
  21. We: I;
  22. You never listen: “you need to agree with me”;
  23. You don’t understand me: why do you do this to her? This is bad, you don’t have any excuse!
  24. Your son: your son.

Also, there are tricky questions you men need to be aware of.

Tricky questions:

  • Do you love me? —> Don’t you think I deserve an expansive present?
  • How much do you love me? —> I did something you are not going to like
  • Are you listening to me? —>Too late, you are dead!
  • Did we finish the milk? —> You should go buy it
  • Is dinner ok? —>Otherwise you can cook next time
  • Did you hear that? —>I saw you where falling asleep
  • Are you ready? —>Turn off the TV already!
  • Am I fat? —>Tell me I am beautiful
  • Was that the baby? —>You should get out of bed and rock him to sleep
  • Where are you? —> Why aren’t you here?

Now, men, look right in front of you: you are on hidden camera. Who would never believe all this is true? Maybe only a man!

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10 responses to “What she really means: translation for men”

  1. eloradaphne says :

    Haaahhaaa! This is a great one :) Love it Elena – a great dictionary for the male species :)

  2. R. says :

    Che ridere la 21: “We” -”I”. ahahahah!!!

  3. jzaaa says :

    good ;)

  4. Sera says :

    This is interesting!

  5. Stacey says :

    Ha – this made me laugh!

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