The Oscars that really count – and that you want to read about

While everybody is getting ready for the Oscar night, I have decided to do something different this year.

Since I am not in Hollywood, but in Toronto, there is snow and wind outside. My red carpet will be inside… and it will be green (sorry, it wasn’t worth me buying a red one just to write a post on my blog! Wait a minute, I could have said I have a red one… nobody will know it anyway! Well, next time).

I picked just the perfect dress for this special night: it’s an apron…. so that I can make dinner at the same time! Genius!

Lots of newspapers and magazines are here ready for me: I have Metro -  from this morning on the subway – and Active, that has been on the table waiting for me for few days, and of course Vogue.

I have been also been practicing on my jokes overtime for lack of confidence, thanks to somebody who always tells me I am not funny! Of course I am!

Ok, lights go off and the music announces the beginning of the night! Here’s my awards.

  • Actor in a Leading Role —-> my father. For the acting part I can certainly remember all the times he was acting like if everything was ok, like if he was ok. But nothing was. This is what good parents do: the sacrifice themselves for their kids’ happiness, and raise them with as much serenity as possible. For the leading role part… I don’t even need to explain this.
  • Worst Actress in a Leading Role —-> that would be me. No acting skills at all. My face always says it all, I don’t even need to talk.  But I consider it a pretty good quality.
  • Actress in a Supporting Role —-> a bitch! A real actress. The only thing she was supporting was her own wallet stepping on other people faces, feelings and ruin families. It will all come back to you girl, it will all come back.
  • Animated Feature Film —-> few years ago I went to see Wall-E with a guy I was just starting to date. When we arriving at the theatre he told me: “Do you know what this is?” “No, what?’ “This is the first of many movies we are going to watch together!”. I smiled but in my head I tought “I am not that into you, I don’t even know if there will be another movie”. Well, I loved Wall-E…. and we are married now.
  • Art Direction —->I loved a Raphael Mazzucco exposithion that I saw a while ago. Loved it.
  • Costume Design —-> Lot’s of nominations here, but I have to really follow my feelings…. Madeline Gardner for making the best wedding gown ever, MINE!!!! (Shit! I should have worn it for tonight!!! This could have been the perfect occasion, and the man that I married could not have said anything to change my mind! Great, too late now!)
  • Directing —-> I am a believer. Don’t ask me what I believe in, but I do believe. This is what matters. Does this mean this Oscar is going to my God gene?
  • Documentary Feature —-> Lots of good documentaries this year, experiences that taught me a lot…. but the Oscar goes to my meeting with the Dalai Lama. Priceless.
  • Documentary Short Subject —-> the history of cosmetics
  • Film Editing —-> money. Because even if the story makes the movies and money doesn’t give you happiness, a good film editing make everything looks much better!
  • Foreign Language Film —-> Learning English is still an adventure for me
  • Makeup —-> the one that doesn’t kill you
  • Music (Original Song) —-> Super Mario’s background music…. even if when we play I have to be Luigi because somebody else HAS to be Mario! Then the music gets stuck in my head for days.
  • Short Film (Live Action) —-> My first few month of running, getting ready for my first 10k race. Live action baby!
  • Sound Mixing —->my stomach, when I’m hungry!
  • Visual Effects —->the lake in front of my house, and its power to remind me how lucky I am
  • Writing (Original Screenplay) —-> the post that I am the most proud of: Italian food stereotypes, no grazie! published also by CNN website Eatocracy!
  • Best Picture —->I have to give this to my husband, to write every day new and happy pages to our life together (I have to do this after what I wrote for the Animated Feature Film!!! Ooops!) .

Have a good night everybody!

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7 responses to “The Oscars that really count – and that you want to read about”

  1. ulag says :

    nice post!! :)

  2. Fragolina says :

    Original idea. Liked your Oscars Elena, specially the Animated Feature Film category (usually things happen when we don’t expect to). Nice.

  3. eliza keating says :

    THIS IS BRILLIANT….AND I AGREE YOUR IDEAS ARE VERY UNIQUE AND ORIGINAL

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